Advent

The last couple of days at work, I've had to take care of visits. I have to arrange them and then actually have them. Some people are hard to find because they change phone numbers and homes a lot. Some visits are really nice because of the progress the kids are making and the care that they receive from their parents/foster parents/legal guardians. Others are frustrating and draining. Right now I'm working with a family that has some serious domestic violence issues. When a family with domestic violence history acts aggressive in front of their social worker, then it's usually pretty serious because it's obvious that they don't even care about hiding anything anymore. I represent the interests of their child, so it can get pretty dicey sometimes. I don't like to make threats, but it's up to me to seriously consider how to keep that kid safe.

I've been learning a lot and trying to make sense of what exactly it is that threatens families. On a certain level, it's poverty. But I have a suspicion that if these families were doing better financially, they'd still have lots of problems. They usually lack other types of support too. It makes me wonder how I'd fare if I had to face what they're facing. Probably not very well.

An example, perhaps. When I first started working in this business, I noticed that a lot of poor families (who were receiving AFDC assistance) had cable. And big TVs! And to be honest, it made me kinda mad. Of course, I ignored the fact that I knew absolutely nothing about their lives except what I read on the paperwork I received. I mean it's easy to point out flaws in people that you don't know, but when you start to find out more, you usually (hopefully) can at least try to understand where they're coming from, even if you still disagree with how or why they do things. And it's occurred to me that a lot of these parents don't have much to go on. A lot of times, they weren't raised in families with good parenting. They're usually younger (than I am, at least), working in bad jobs that pay very little, maintain ties with past negative relationships, and to top it all off, they're trying to get the System out of their lives. It turns out that television is a pretty effective, albeit temporary, way of distracting your kids. And when you have all this other stuff to deal with, and your parents didn't teach you the value of spending time with your kids, and you have nobody else to help you out, $60 of your monthly $800 welfare check seems like a pretty decent deal.

I think I'm pretty good at not being judgmental. I attribute it to the fact that I know me. I'm lazy and unmotivated, and I suck at actually doing the virtuous stuff that I like talking about. And without the enormous safety net provided by my education, my dad and mom, my upbringing, my access to knowledge, good friends, and a million other things, I'd likely find myself in the same place as a lot of these folks.

We exist in this darkness as we await the return of our King.